One Direction (<3) just excel, in every way. Musically and lyrically, these guys stand head and shoulders above almost any group I've had the pleasure of listening to. It's hard to make jokes here when the music and messages they stand behind are so fucking good.
Everything above this image was probably the most painful thing I've ever had to write. |
Don't worry, everyone. I wouldn't even touch that One Direction shit with a 50-foot pole, let alone buy it. Today I'm going to look at a band who would rape One Direction to death, eat their flesh and sew those little bitches' skins into their clothing. And if they're very, very lucky, it'll happen in that order.
Aborted (<3) are a Deathgrind band from Belgium who've been around for what's starting to close in on 20 years. They go for the classic Carcass-style gore-splattering, innards-disemboweling themes and lyrics, and with song titles like "Coronary Reconstruction", "Expurgation Euphoria", and "Our Father, Who Art of Feces", how could you not get excited? For those of you who don't know what Deathgrind is, it's (as the name suggests) a crossover between Death Metal and Grindcore. It mixes the furious speed and aggression of Grindcore and the musicality and songwriting of Death Metal into the equivalent of being mauled by a grizzly bear with a +5 thundering warhammer.
Yeah. Terrifying, I know. |
The album is pretty straight forward. The band pulls of flying at a million kilometers an hour without giving the look-at-how-good-I-am-at-playing-my-instrument wankery. The riffs stay pounding and brutal, and the drums sound absolutely massive. The real attraction on here is vocalist Sven de Caluwé's impressive range. Everything from throat shredding Grind screams to brutal as fuck Death Metal growls to even the occasional pig squeal shows up on here. His ability to cycle between a bunch of different extreme Metal vocal styles really keeps things interesting throughout this album.
Something else that adds a fun touch (but is in no way anything new in either the Death Metal or Grindcore genres) are the audio samples. The intro track is a a bunch of snippets of old movies strung together to give this eerie zombie-apocalypse-is-actually-upon us feeling, and most other tracks feature audio clips from some horror movie or another. The final track ends with the somewhat cliché "Now I have become death, the destroyer of worlds" quote, but it still fits nicely for closing the album. The one sample that I really love the most is on the title track where just as the song is about to hit full-on Grind mode, you hear "I'M GOING TO FUCKING RAPE YOUR SOUL!". Classic.
I have to say, although Global Flatline keeps it fresh throughout, it's not fresh enough for my tastes. With music like Deathgrind or Technical Death Metal, I feel there are always a few songs on thew album that really stand out, but most other songs seem to sound similar, with not enough character put into each one.
Bomb-Ass Tracks
Global Flatline: What can I say, this song fucking raped my soul.
Our Father, Who Art of Feces: This song's chorus is gargantuan. I really love the guitar work as well. There are a bunch of memorable riffs all the way throughout, and the solo is wicked sweet too.
Enstille: The closing track (excluding the bonus tracks) starts off with similar sampling as the intro track and then shifts into a driving, mid-paced monster. It's got some incredibly well phrased guitar work shredding over top of the first half. The second half picks up with Sven doing a mix of spoken word and growling like a motherfucker. I know that a lot of people really disliked this track because it didn't fit with the rest of the album, but I personally love this song.
On a Playlist With: Decrepit Birth, Origin, Cattle Decapitation
Overall Score
3.5
If you like Death Metal, Grindcore, or Tech-Death, you'll probably like this. If you don't like any of those genres, this probably won't change your stance on them. I think this is a pretty solid album. I mean, what can I say, they had me at "rape your soul". <3
That's all for now, folks. Keep being Awesome.
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