Guest Review: Prostitute Disfigurement - "Descendants of Depravity" by LJCB

I have a good buddy of mine doing a review for us today. He's one of the biggest authorities on metal that I know, and he's more metal than anyone you or I know combined. I take his iron-clad word without a second thought. His ideas are a landmine of furiously made points which cannot be denied. He is LJCB. Without further ado, here is his review in all of its glory. Prepare your bodies.
-Grave Dave

Great idea. mediocre album. These guys have really let me down. Usually when i hear a kick ass name my expectations get set higher than they should be. Expectations that were not met and I feel disappointed because of it. There's a lesson here for all of the young kids trying to get into music. Only have a name that is as badass as your sound is. If you can't match that level of badass-ery you may want to find a new name such as Maroon 5, Theory of a dead man, or perhaps mountain dew code: red. But let's get to the specifics of the album, the highs were high. the lows were low. I didn't actually listen to the album because I would just think it is noise and this early in the morning it would give me a bad start to my day, I also don't have a gallon of turpentine that is available for me to drink and seeing how that is on my to do list before listening to an album such as this it will have to wait. So that's it really. Don't set your audiences expectations to high by having a super rad name only to be followed up by poor execution, and terrible album art.

PS: If you actually read all of that I commend you. I wrote it and I didn't even read it.

-LJCB