Album Review: Andrew W.K. - "I Get Wet"

Out of the following statements, please choose the one that describes you the best.

A) I like Andrew W.K.

B) I hate fun.

For those of you who chose A, congratulations. For those of you who chose B, it's alright, I'm here to steer you clear of a Squidwardian lifestyle. I'm here to look at Andrew W.K.'s debut album (all the way back from 2001), I Get Wet. For anyone who doesn't know, Andrew W.K. (also known as "that guy who only wears white t-shirts") is a rock singer/ songwriter/ pianist who sings about parties, girls, parties, living big, and parties. He recently turned to motivational speaking, because apparently he can't rest until everybody on the planet is high on life.

It's not blood... it's... uhhh... happiness. Yeah. Happiness...

This review is going to be really short, because there really isn't much you can say about I Get Wet. It's a jack-of-no-trades and a master-of-one. This album's sole purpose for existence is to pump you the fuck up and get get you psyched up to celebrate/ party. I realized I used the word "psyched", but trust me, no frat-bro would be caught dead listening to Andrew W.K.

The album is pretty straightforward. Blaring guitars, thumping bass, and pounding drums form the foundation of I Get Wet, and Andrew himself covers vocal and piano duties. All the songs have just enough melody to get stuck in your head and stay there for a long ass time, but Andrew W.K.'s voice is punky/ shouty enough that you don't have to be drunk to be able to sing along (but it helps, obviously). The songs are upbeat and uptempo, with the piano really driving the "happy" vibe forwards by bombarding you with nonstop major chords, because minor chords sometimes sound sad, and Andrew W.K. just can't have that.

"YOU WILL LOVE OR YOU WILL DIE."

One thing I find kind of cool about I Get Wet is that it can appeal to metalheads and non-metalheads alike. Production gives the instrumentation a nice thick and heavy sound (especially those drums, I mean, like, fuck), making the album easy to party-mosh to. But just the way the instruments are played, with simple, bouncy rhythms and tried-and-true chord progressions makes I Get Wet every bit as dancable as it is moshable.

With all that being said, I have to point out a flaw. Remember how I said it was a "jack-of-no-trades and a master-of-one"? That can also be looked at in a different light. You could easily call I Get Wet a one trick pony. It's something that you play before going out with your friends to hit the town and rip it a new asshole. Other than that, this album seems not to fit many other occasions.

Maybe goat sacrifices fit too. That's Andrew W.K. hanging with Fenriz, by the way.

Bomb-Ass Tracks

Party Hard: Probably his most famous track, once the vocoded "when it's time to party, we will party hard"  drops, you can't help but bang your head (like every other song on the album). Those guitar riffs get stuck in your head like no tomorrow too. Definitely a classic.

Ready to Die: Keyboard intro. In your head. Forever. Also, a great anthemic pump up song (like every other song on the album).

I Get Wet: Just. Fucking. Party (like every other song on the album).

On a Playlist With: Foxy Shazam. That's about it.

Overall Score

4.0 everyday, 5.0 when partying. Duh.

I Get Wet is just recorded happiness. Nothing more than that. Also related to about it only working when partying, a quote from Andrew W.K.'s official Facebook page:

PARTY TIP: There are only three times we should party... 1) When we're happy. 2) When we're sad. 3) Right now.

 So, by that logic, you can listen to this forever. And ever.

That's all for now, folks! Party hard.